Have you seen those anti-smoking commercials? One shows a woman mixing a frozen cocktail in her workplace so she can go out for her smoke break. The commercial says something like, you don’t drink every time you smoke; but you smoke every time you drink. Then there’s the car one with a guy rushing frantically through a parking lot trying to get into any car: you don’t drive every time you smoke, but you smoke every time you drive.

Well, imagine searching for a book each time you are about to eat. You don’t read every time you eat, but you eat every time you read.

That’s my problem. Whenever I read – which, I must admit, is quite a lot – I have to eat. I have to snack. And it’s never on carrots and green beans. No, give me Fig Newtons, four-cheese crackers, bunny grahams, Ben & Jerry’s. And it’s not like I eat one, maybe two portions and then stop, satisfied… enough said. This is a pretty serious problem; you see, I have lost self control when it comes to snacking while I read. This, of course, leads to weight gain, loss of toned and tight muscles. Yes, flab build up.

I read in the morning, in between classes, after classes, and before bed. Anytime I have a break, I read, whether it be for class or for pleasure. So, I eat unhealthy snacks far too often. What do I do? How can I regain self control?

The past two days, I decided to go to the gym with my book when I got the itch to read. That way, I cannot eat while indulging in literature. This has been quite helpful, for that certain time slot of reading. And that’s that.

I even tried to buy fewer snacks and more healthy options. Oh, then my roommate made brownies and offered me some, and I couldn’t be rude and decline, right? That’s my excuse. Of course I did not decline; I love brownies, their texture and chocolaty goodness.

I’ll have to search Stop & Shop for a satisfying snack that is not so carb and sugar heavy. But what if I am still not ready to control portion size? Even if I have those pre-packaged packs that are 100 calories, or whatever? Maybe I can find another addiction to combine with reading. There’s no way I am giving up reading, so it goes.

It seems quite ridiculous and it is rather embarrassing. But, it’s real. I don’t read every time I eat, but I eat every time I read.

SHARA MARIE <3

Today, Thursday, begins the three-day long celebration of Halloween. Are you one of the many people who wait until the last minute to purchase or put together a costume? Maybe you just haven’t had time. Maybe your creativity has run dry. Or your wallet.

Let’s face it, Halloween costumes are far too expensive, especially for women. Come on, it seems you are forced to spend top dollar for junky material probably you will wear max three times. Ever.

Walk into iParty, for example, and check down the aisles. A woman’s costume – let’s say a typical sexy nurse – costs an outrageous $49.99 ($59.99 if you opt for the even sexier nurse uniform).

But what actually comes in that little plastic bag with the ridiculous price tag branded in the lower righthand corner? A one-piece, flimsy “nurse” uniform, and maybe, MAYBE, a little felt hat with a red cross on it. This costume is clearly incomplete, and you’re already down $50+.

You still need the right shoes; chances are, you do not already have high-heel white knee-high boots. Shoes - the right shoes – will set you back anywhere from $30-80, and that’s being cheap. Most good quality boots for women are sold lowest at $80. You still need knee-high white or red stockings. Then you need to accessorize, because what costume is complete without accessories? And maybe you need some new makeup to truly get into character – which is ultimately what you love to do for Halloween.

And, of course, the sizes of Halloween pre-made costumes are very limited. If you’re looking for an XS, they make a very low quantity of suits in that size. And the size of XS is not truly made to fit an XS body. I saw a costume that said S: sizes 4-8. First of all, 4-8 is a wide range. Second of all, what about those 0-2 people? Oh, that’s right, we have to fight to find the one remaining XS costume – probably in something unappealing – and it’ll still fit loosely, widely and awkardly. And then plus sizes are oppressed as well. There are limited plus size costumes, and they are rarely sexy ones. Typically, if you’re a plus, you can be a witch dressed in a not-so-flattering plain back, long dress. How fun!

This example is no exception – just about all Halloween costumes todays will empty your wallet too quickly; they’ll dishearten your soul when you go to try them on to find they do not fit. And you still need to buy that inevitable candy, and – if you’re 21+ – booze. At the end of the night, your costume will probably have ripped, gotten stained, or overall it’ll be uncomfortable. And probably someone else will be wearing the same costume, especially if you bought it at iParty or Spencers.

So. What do you do? Get cheap and/or get creative. Have a black dress already and black high heels? Grab some cat ears, a tail to pin on and use black eyeliner to make whiskers. Red can work for a devil. Pitchfork and horns! Green can work for a fairy, or even blue. Wings! Or get bunny ears and a bunny tail – Playboy Bunny. Creative, no. Inexpensive, yes!

Have a small black or maroon blanket? Throw it over your shoulders. Purchase those famous round glasses. Maybe get a nice gold and maroon tie. And then draw a lightning bolt on your forehead. Harry Potter!

Bathing suits can always turn into surfer dudes, Hawaiin girls, etc. Honestly, I was a Hawaiin girl for the past three years. Wore my bikini with one of those bathing suit wraps for a skirt. Threw on a few leis, and put a flower in my hair. Done. Cost: under $10, having already had the bikini and wrap.

Just devour your closet and clothing bins. Look around your room. You can make a costume out of things you already have – easily. It may just take some thinking if your goal is to be creative. If your goal is to just go out, dressed up, for cheap, you can do it!

Happy Halloween!!! Love, Shara Marie

College dating – it’s an interesting topic. I’ve noticed five major types of college daters over the years:

1. The happily tied-down individual with a sweetheart/significant other – they do everything together;
2. The swinging single  (includes intense cheaters) who is out on the prowl (yes,  just wants to bang, bang, bang);
3. The lonely soul who just wants to find love (or perhaps sex);
4. The recent break-up victim who constantly hooks-up to feel desirable again, but just can’t let go;
5. And the virgin. Enough said.

What type of college dater are you, or have you been? Some of us have been more than one of the above. Are there other types of daters out there? If so, please describe them.

If you are trying to switch from one type to another, say #5 to #2, here’s what most do but shouldn’t do:
Get wicked drunk and hit on a girl who is completely trashed. Drinking definitely takes some of the edge off, eliminates some of those nerves, but this is not the right choice, even if the sex has potential to feel awesome. Why? Because of that slippery word “consent.” If the girl is hammered and she doesn’t consent, it’s rape. Even if she seems totally into it, she can charge you with rape (or vice versa, because girls can rape guys, too). Or perhaps she does consent, but then she regrets in the next morning – then what happens? Sexual assault is a huge obstacle when drunk sex occurs.
Try asking for consent if this is the case; don’t be embarassed. It will work out for the better this way – whether you get laid or not.

Although it does not seem to happen a lot, you should try to meet a girl or guy the old fashioned – maybe high school – way. Approach that person, face-t0-face, or with a friend as support, and just introduce yourself. Use observation to strike up a conversation that does not seem intruding. The worse that can happen – rejection. And then you just get over it because you didn’t know the person that well in the first place.
Here’s some ways to casually converse…
1. If the person is wearing a sports jersey, you can comment on a recent or upcoming game, or the player whose jersey is being sported;
2. If you have mutual friends but haven’t been introduced, use that pathway;
3. If you’re in line at Res you can comment on how terrible the food is – or perhaps it’s good that day!;
4. If you have class with that person, bingo, talk about a past or upcoming test, assignment, etc.;
5. If you’re at the gym – tread lightly as some people prefer not to be bothered when they’re in the zone – you can talk about a work-out, ask what that person suggests for daily cardio, or even let that person have a drink at the water fountain before you (who says chivalry doesn’t work?).
 
Obviously there are hundreds of more ways to introduce yourself to someone. What are your suggestions? What has worked for you and what has failed? Share your stories, and your tips!

A suggestion I have for you, after ruminating all my failures, once you find out the person’s name, check if that person is in a relationship – you can do this on Facebook without being creepy, in case you’re too shy to ask. I’ve had plenty of guys introduce themselves to me, and a few cute ones, so I’d think of them as a potential date or hook-up. Come to find out, after being added on Facebook by them or scoping out their page, they’re in a relationship. Save yourself the embarassment of putting forth too much effort -

Good luck!

Love, Shara Marie

I’ve compiled a list of potential boyfriends for me. Please help me obtain one of these fine young men! (by the way, I don’t think anyone NEEDS to be with a man, I just want to be with one.)

T. Brady
Z. Greinke
M. Sanchez
M. Ryan

I have a thing for quarterbacks and pitchers.

How are my odds? any ideas for additions to the list?

In a recent post containing some out-and-out random topics, we were informed about what is awesome – and what is not. Now don’t get me wrong – I have nothing personal against dinosaurs, bears, or even Taco Bell – but somewhere between hearing about a bear fighting a brontosaurus for the last chimichanga and “un-friending” mysterious people on facebook there was mention of the New York Yankees.

Okay, so I know as soon as I throw this out there you’re all going to hate me and may even stop reading (if anyone is actually reading..) but I’m going to say it anyway – The New York Yankees ARE AWESOME!! Nobody in the history of sports has won more championships than this team – 26 to be exact – and although I could go on (and on and on and on…) I’ll spare you the details.

Now, for those of you who are still with me, I already know what’s coming. I’ve heard it 50 million times before – I know, I know, it’s been a while. Although I’d like to believe the World Series was not played in 2004, or 2007 for that matter, I’ll give it to you – Boston went all the way. BUT, this year will be different. The Yankees have been on a tear since the All-Star break – there’s no denying that – so say what you want Boston, flaunt you’re seven championships. Number 27 is on the way for New York – and if you ask me I think that’s pretty awesome.

Some of the UMASS Dartmouth theater group’s MacGuyver Experience performs a comedy improv act in the main auditorium.

Photo by: Pam Helme

Dinosaurs. They are a silly thing really. I mean, think about it. Giant lizards that ate shit and breathed fire. Ok, I made the fire thing up, but do you really know that?! Maybe they did breathe fire. And who doesn’t like a giant fire breathing monster? Seriously, I bet dinosaurs could do ANYTHING. I bet there were dinosaurs that could bowl a 300. Think about that. A giant fire breathing monster bowling a 300! You wanna take that on in mini-golf? Seriously.

Speaking of stuff that I like, TACO BELL. That was a sentence by the way, because if you take any unfinished though, and add TACO BELL to it, then everything is ok. I mean, who thought of this place, really? Its like bad good amazing terrible food nirvana. And its cheap. Like, silly cheap.

Think about this. What if TACO BELL and DINOSAURS teamed up? What if you were walking down the street one day, and you saw a T-Rex eating a crunchwrap supreme? WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?!?

And BEARS. Did you know bears don’t get mad? They don’t get happy either. They don’t get sleepy, anxious, or anything else. They just get more AWESOME.  Play this scene out in your head: You walk into taco bell, and there is a bear fighting a brontosaurus for the last chimichanga. Yeah, I would walk away.

Speaking of stuff that I think is awesome, you know what isn’t awesome? The New York Yankees. The 2009 Al East Champions. I’m going to send bear and dinosaurs over there to take care of them. But this blog isn’t about not awesome things, it’s about awesome things. So we will lump the yankees with root canals and not having air conditioning and leave it as it is.

As you might have noticed, I get off track every once and a while. While I was writing this, I noticed someone on my facebook news feed (otherwise known as the stalkerpage) that I didn’t actually know. Let me tell you, there is nothing as fun as going to some random bro-dude’s profile and hitting the UNFRIEND button. That button should have a picture of a dinosaur on it, thats for sure. That button my friends, is awesome.

So, faithful readers (I don’t actually believe I have any readers, as I haven’t ever done this before, but hey, whatever), I want you to tell me about ore awesome things. Be it stuff that breathes fire, quenches your desire for mexican, or just plain old eats things and takes names, I need your awesome stuff to talk about. Because what else am I going to do during my office hours?!

Ciao!

-Rob

  Do you ever wonder why a heart is so fragile? Do you ever wonder why, over time, the heart hasn’t evolved? I image it could have evolved into something tougher – the skin could be thicker, the surrounding ribs could be harder. After so many breaks, a heart can never be fully mended. So what happens when the heart breaks so much so that it becomes nothing more than a pile of gray ash? Can it be put back together again? It’s not like anyone has invented such a glue. And the people who break your heart, sure as hell aren’t going to become that adhesive.

                And why should they try to glue your most precious piece back together? If they broke your heart in the first place, they certainly don’t care about you or your center piece much at all. If you love someone, you do all you can not to break that person’s heart. You do everything to keep their smile shining and their energy radiating. But, I guess, sometimes you make a mistake, and in attempt to cover that mistake and cushion that person’s heart, you lie. You, for some reason, think that lying will solve everything, that if you lie then whatever mistake you made in the past can be covered up, buried, and forgotten.

                Does that make the liar the bad person? Or does it make the believer the bad person? If you fall for the lie, if you believe what you want to, and only see what is beautiful, then perhaps you are the one who needs to change. Because you’ve been lying to yourself all along, which is much worse than the one lie the other person told.

It’s funny. It seems like just a few months ago I was walking down Centennial Way for the first time and swiping into Maple Ridge with my brand new UMass Pass. And now, I’m taking my last jogs around Ring Road, my final steps to the Liberal Arts building (still Group I in my eyes), and preparing to walk to the center of the amphitheater for the big finale.
Yes, senior year is here and it’s started off quite rocky. But I’ve been battling the crushing waves, hoping to calm the angered sea surrounding me. I survived without hot – or even room temperature – water for over a week. I’ve been lucky to wash my clothes each week in one of the two working washing machines in Hickory, even though they come out feeling dirtier than before. I’ve been challenged by this new position as Editor-in-Chief and am fumbling to fill the oversized shoes; my feet are too small, I blame it on that. My beautiful boyfriend and I have had our hurtful fights and I regret many of my actions, but in the end I know I was standing up for myself. And I am lucky to still have him at the moment; I’m still trying to figure out if we’re the right fit. Deep down I know my little shoes match perfectly with his giant ones, but does he know that? Will he ever feel that? And now classes are tougher than ever before, as I am taking two graduate level courses simultaneously. But it’s all pushing me forward, closer to achieving some of my many dreams. Each step I take in these size four shoes takes me one rung higher to the top where my aspirations lay waiting for my grasp.
So I’ll keep climbing, and I’ll graciously add another year to my twenty. That’s right, twenty-one comes for me this Wednesday, September 16. Who would have thought getting older would feel so good. After this, I vow never to add another candle to the cake again. But sometimes I wish I could go back, back to sixteen, seventeen; not to relive the happy days, but to fix the bad and sooner learn from the mistakes. And then I wish I could back, back to five, six; so I could remember how the world used to look so beautiful, so glorious through those kindergarten eyes. I want to remind myself of that beauty that seems so deeply hidden now, so far away that I cannot see it even in the daylight.
Until a time machine is invented, I’ll try to reconnect with the world and refocus my once optimistic views. I will reinvent the pretty colors I once saw – the reds, oranges, and golds of autumn leaves; the shimmering yellows of the stars; the orange creamsicle streaks of the evening sky.
And I’ll never let anyone tell me that my feet are too small to fill the several pairs of shoes that I have placed before me.

So in reading the recent blog by Aubry I got confused, I’ll confess. I’m not sure what a PIFTS.EXE is, Grey Hat’s are, or  why they would send information to Africa. One thing I did get out of it is that IF they do manufacture these viruses to keep their own business going then that is mucho bad. Peoples personal information are stored on their computers and being somebody who lost a computer to viruses in the past I take this personally. Not only did I lose all my school work but i also lost all the pictures I took during the summer going into college and my first 2 years at school. People may not think a computer virus is a big deal but lets take this from a different angle.

Lets say a virus for humans comes out that makes you forget everything that you did for the past three years and also makes you randomly yell out information such as your date of birth, social security number, and credit card numbers. Then a company comes out with a cure for it, we will make up a random name for this company, lets say… ummm… Notron. Now Notron sells the cure to everyone but they realize that this is the main source of the profit for company and don’t want their company to pull a Circuit City (too soon?). All of a sudden, despite Notrons best efforts, the virus starts infecting more and more people. Notron raises the price of their service and business is going well for them. Then rumors that they are spreading this virus arise. Isn’t that something that should be looked into? Wouldn’t Congress have a committee looking into these allegations the second they came out? So why is the true life rumor treated any differently?

Now I understand that at this time the government has bigger problems than to look into every little claim and I am fine with that but even I, being a nearly computer illiterate, have heard of people mentioning this issue for years. So why has it never been investigated before this? why are computer savy people not getting together right now to investigate this? Think about how much this costs the average person; between taking your computer to be cleaned by geek squad, to time you waste, to buying  a new computer I’m guessing the price is pretty expensive. I would guess that the amount of money American citizens spend on fixing their computers in one week could pay for a team of investigators to put these rumors to rest. Norton should be more than willing to help in anyway possible since these claims are so untrue (I am just assuming that they are untrue because it would take a truly evil company lead by some of the biggest douche bags the world has ever seen for this to be true and I don’t believe that Norton is a company like that).

So lets investigate this so that we can put these ever present rumors to rest. Then Norton can be put back up with the likes of Batman and Superman as one of the few doing everything possible to protect the public.

Jeffrey Bogosian

Photo Editor

Blogger Extraordinaire