I’ve compiled a list of potential boyfriends for me. Please help me obtain one of these fine young men! (by the way, I don’t think anyone NEEDS to be with a man, I just want to be with one.)
T. Brady
Z. Greinke
M. Sanchez
M. Ryan
I have a thing for quarterbacks and pitchers.
How are my odds? any ideas for additions to the list?
SAVE 10 DOLLARS, HELP STOP RACIAL DISCRIMINATION
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN’S “THE LAST AIRBENDER” WHITEWASHES ASIAN AND INUIT CHARACTERS
Just a few decades ago, in the golden days of old Hollywood, for many directors, screenwriters, and many others in the movie industry, yellowface was their bread and butter. Never heard of “yellowface”? In short, it is the Asian equivalent of blackface, which was seen most often in minstrel shows (comic and exaggerated performances by white actors who painted their faces black, beginning in the 1830’s and lasting all the way to the 1960’s). If that doesn’t sound right to you, neither should this:
Perhaps you remember the “infamous Dr. FuManchu,” “the yellow peril”? His many movies and TV shows were immensely popular. They also featured white actors (Warner Oland, Boris Karloff, Christopher Lee, etc.) who wore prosthetics and makeup to make them appear Asian. This same practice was repeated for decades, even in roles that did not seek to mock or villanize images of Asian characters.
Doesn’t this beg the question, why not simply hire Asian actors in the first place?
Unfortunately, even today, in 2009, we have not yet seen the end of racial discrimination and even yellowface in Hollywood.
2005. The animated TV show Avatar: The Last Airbender aired on Nickelodeon. The show featured heavy cultural and ideological influences from Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and Inuit cultures, and also incorporated Chinese martial arts and Hindu and Buddist philosophies. Originally aimed at young boys, Avatar’s careful research and sensitive portrayals of its Asian and Inuit heroes made it wildly popular among adults and children alike worldwide.
2008. Director M. Night Shyamalan, who had purchased the rights to make a live-action film version of Avatar, announced his cast of heroes. In his version, known officially as “The Last Airbender,” and set for release in 2010, the Inuit brother and sister Sokka and Katara, will each be played by white actors (Jackson Rathbone and Nicola Peltz, respectively). Aang, the titular “Avatar,” whose clothing, philosophy, and entire culture is based upon Tibetan Buddhism, will be played by a 12 year-old Caucasian boy from Texas, Noah Ringer. Put simply, this is WHITEWASHING.
Originally, the part of antagonist Prince Zuko was given to blonde, blue-eyed popstar Jesse McCartney, though that decision was later revised due to McCartney’s “scheduling conflicts.” Instead, the role was given to Indian Slumdog Millionaire’s Dev Patel. The choice, however, does not excuse Paramount Pictures of blame. Following Patel’s casting, they promptly cast several other Indian, and Iranian actors to play key roles in the villanous Fire Nation. The problem with this?
Paramount has given race a priority in the story in a way it was never meant to be. They have created a situation wherein GOOD WHITE HEROES must overcome their EVIL BROWN FOES.
This is not right.
It’s time we gave children of racial minorities heroes that look like they do.
We don’t want ever want to see this on the screen again:
(Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961))
“If you’re Korean, wear a kimono. If you’re from Belgium, wear lederhosen.” – DeeDee Ricketts, casting director of “The Last Airbender”
Don’t support racial discrimination.
PLEASE BOYCOTT “THE LAST AIRBENDER”!
Please visit http://racebending.com for more information!
Sign the boycott petition here: http://www.petitiononline.com/racebend/
We as students have enough bills to pay, let alone having to buy new software for your new computer. You could go the frugal route and use the computers offered by the school, but that’s a huge inconvience and you won’t be able to work on your paper at 3AM the day its due. Fortunately most companies offer huge discounts to students, even better then the discounts you can find in the school store. Most companies would love to give away the software to students for free; but can’t due to antitrust issues, after all you are the workers of tomorrow. Here is a short list of software to keep more cash in your wallet.
You may also be able to get free, yes completely free software depending on your major as well. Engineering majors often have access to the MSDNAA program which allows most Microsoft products (Windows, Visual Studio etc..) for 0$. Ask your faculty if any of these programs exist for you to utilize.
This is just a short summary of what you can leverage with just being a student. Don’t take somebodys word for it when they say they offer the best deal on an item, use your brain and shop around, I can gurantee you that can save hundreds of dollars just by being a smart shopper.
In a recent post containing some out-and-out random topics, we were informed about what is awesome – and what is not. Now don’t get me wrong – I have nothing personal against dinosaurs, bears, or even Taco Bell – but somewhere between hearing about a bear fighting a brontosaurus for the last chimichanga and “un-friending” mysterious people on facebook there was mention of the New York Yankees.
Okay, so I know as soon as I throw this out there you’re all going to hate me and may even stop reading (if anyone is actually reading..) but I’m going to say it anyway – The New York Yankees ARE AWESOME!! Nobody in the history of sports has won more championships than this team – 26 to be exact – and although I could go on (and on and on and on…) I’ll spare you the details.
Now, for those of you who are still with me, I already know what’s coming. I’ve heard it 50 million times before – I know, I know, it’s been a while. Although I’d like to believe the World Series was not played in 2004, or 2007 for that matter, I’ll give it to you – Boston went all the way. BUT, this year will be different. The Yankees have been on a tear since the All-Star break – there’s no denying that – so say what you want Boston, flaunt you’re seven championships. Number 27 is on the way for New York – and if you ask me I think that’s pretty awesome.
Some of the UMASS Dartmouth theater group’s MacGuyver Experience performs a comedy improv act in the main auditorium.
Photo by: Pam Helme
Some of you who actually read this blog might remember my post from all of two days ago (http://www.umasstorch.com/blog/2009/09/26/games-youve-never-heard-of/) where I talked about the game “Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy” and how bad it was.
Yeeeeeeah… about that… I’ve clocked like 10 hours of gameplay since then. Can’t. Stop. Running. Around. Ancient. Egypt.
Okay, yes, the game’s plot is riddled with clichés and the gameplay itself is painfully linear but dagnabbit it is FUN, you hear me? FUN.
I can’t wait to go home this weekend and get my copy of “Tales of Symphonia” back from the friend I lent it too, so I can play something that doesn’t make me cringe.
…Wait, what the heck am I talking about? “Tales of Symphonia” is even less original than “Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy”! It’s not nearly as linear, but the plot/dialogue is even worse. Worse, I say!
Anyway, about me going home this weekend. I will be attending the Garlic and Arts festival (http://www.garlicandarts.org/) with at least two of my roommates. I will give you the full report on that when I return.
Dinosaurs. They are a silly thing really. I mean, think about it. Giant lizards that ate shit and breathed fire. Ok, I made the fire thing up, but do you really know that?! Maybe they did breathe fire. And who doesn’t like a giant fire breathing monster? Seriously, I bet dinosaurs could do ANYTHING. I bet there were dinosaurs that could bowl a 300. Think about that. A giant fire breathing monster bowling a 300! You wanna take that on in mini-golf? Seriously.
Speaking of stuff that I like, TACO BELL. That was a sentence by the way, because if you take any unfinished though, and add TACO BELL to it, then everything is ok. I mean, who thought of this place, really? Its like bad good amazing terrible food nirvana. And its cheap. Like, silly cheap.
Think about this. What if TACO BELL and DINOSAURS teamed up? What if you were walking down the street one day, and you saw a T-Rex eating a crunchwrap supreme? WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?!?
And BEARS. Did you know bears don’t get mad? They don’t get happy either. They don’t get sleepy, anxious, or anything else. They just get more AWESOME. Play this scene out in your head: You walk into taco bell, and there is a bear fighting a brontosaurus for the last chimichanga. Yeah, I would walk away.
Speaking of stuff that I think is awesome, you know what isn’t awesome? The New York Yankees. The 2009 Al East Champions. I’m going to send bear and dinosaurs over there to take care of them. But this blog isn’t about not awesome things, it’s about awesome things. So we will lump the yankees with root canals and not having air conditioning and leave it as it is.
As you might have noticed, I get off track every once and a while. While I was writing this, I noticed someone on my facebook news feed (otherwise known as the stalkerpage) that I didn’t actually know. Let me tell you, there is nothing as fun as going to some random bro-dude’s profile and hitting the UNFRIEND button. That button should have a picture of a dinosaur on it, thats for sure. That button my friends, is awesome.
So, faithful readers (I don’t actually believe I have any readers, as I haven’t ever done this before, but hey, whatever), I want you to tell me about ore awesome things. Be it stuff that breathes fire, quenches your desire for mexican, or just plain old eats things and takes names, I need your awesome stuff to talk about. Because what else am I going to do during my office hours?!
Ciao!
-Rob
Watching the teevee with my roommate this morning, I saw a report on dog-fighting. It covered a variety of related topics, including Vick’s recent arrest and current public-speaking circuit, and a man whose pit bull puppy was kidnapped out of his back yard and had her tiny puppy hip shattered so she would make a good training kill for a fighting dog. The whole segment lasted about ten minutes or so, during which I saw dog after dog in horrible states of abuse and neglect, and several dozen different men laughing, joking, and making an enormous profit off of their favorite “sport.”
After this report, I decided to invent a new sport. I call it “manfighting.”
You take two men convicted of dog fighting. You starve them for about a week, give each of them a plank of wood with a rusty nail in it, set them both loose in an inescapable pit, and tell each man that if he kills the other man, he gets to live. This is a lie, of course. The loser dies, and the winner is sent on to fight another man, and another, and another, on and on until the day that he finally succumbs to the violence of the ring.
Some of you might think this is cruel. I assure you that “manfighting” is quite humane compared to what some people in third-world countries endure. And when he’s not in the ring, my fighting man will get lots of treats and exercise and be told that he is a good boy while I pat him on the head… just before I shove him into another ring to be savagely beaten, from which he may or may not emerge victorious.
I’m going to make millions.
“Sphinx and the Cursed Mummy” is a horrible game.
I bought it used because an action-adventure game based on the myths and legends of ancient Egypt sounded really, really cool. (I was terrified of mummies as a child, so my parents decided to cure that fear by making me super-informed about ancient Egypt.) Tragically, the game designers did minimal research (jotted down some big names and maybe even watched Disney’s “Aladdin” to get the setting), and stocked ancient Eygpt full of white people. That wouldn’t be so bad if the game itself weren’t so glitchy that saving at the wrong save points will corrupt your entire memory card. But let’s back up.
The premise is as follows: you are Sphinx, a young demi-god on a quest to stop the evil god Set from taking over the world. Sounds pretty good, yeah? Except that you have to take the back of the game box’s word for your demi-god status, as you have no powers that would speak to your godliness. You are half-lion (tail and all), but when you realize that 85% of the NPCs in the game are also half-animal without any discernable difference from the random white people in terms of social status or abilities, you start to doubt that is any clue to your demi-god state.
Anyway, the game starts off with Sphinx and his half-bird rival Horus getting sent on a mission by their half-baboon mentor Imhotep to retrieve the Sword of Osiris. You have to jump over a lot of lava to do so, and are predictably betrayed by Horus. Of course, he goes over a cliff immediately afterward, but true to video game/movie/comic book logic, that in no way means he’s dead. So you get the sword, escape the evil castle, and then -
- the game abruptly switches to an ancient Egyptian palace, where Prince Tutankhamun (or “Tut” for short, played by white guy #5) is waking up in his luxurious bed. He is now your playable character. And it is your birthday! Hooray! And your brother, whose character design was ripped directly from Jafar of Disney’s “Aladdin” and is in no way evil or about to betray you while cackling maniacally, is decorating the palace for you and has planned a big “birthday surprise” that totally won’t end up killing you so he can inherit the throne. Totally. (If you haven’t already guessed, this game is painfully predictable.)
Anyway, after meeting your (white girl #7) girlfriend, Nefertiti, and doing a few short fetch quests, your brother’s surprisingly evil plot is unveiled, and he ties you down in a sarcophagus (or “really pretty coffin” for you non-Egyptology types) and starts casting some evil Egyptian hoodoo.
The game switches PCs back to Sphinx, who is running around a whole new dungeon and solving some puzzles and killing some monsters and generally thwacking things with the sword of Osiris until they do what he wants. Until you go through a particularly doorway and discover that, GASP! You’re in the selfsame dungeon that Tut’s brother is using to cast evil Egyptian hoodoo on him! And as you watch helplessly, poor Tut is turned into a mummy and sucked into hell along with his evil brother and his evil brother’s evil henchman! Nefertiti asks Sphinx to save Tut, and Sphinx gets right on that by going to the Big City…
…which is completely abandoned. No, wait, there’s a white guy. And another white guy. And a half-bird hobo. But other than that, the streets are empty and silent. Was there a plague? A massacre? Nope! THQ just couldn’t be bothered to program more NPCs.
I won’t bore you with more plot exposition (except to say that Horus comes back to plague you throughout the game, and Tut’s evil brother is really the evil god Set in disguise for no good reason, and if you jump in the wrong place or save your game in the wrong place or buy your items in the wrong order or cough while playing this game, it will glitch out and freeze up and die a horrible console-murdering death) because I need to take this time to tell you about what this game was SUPPOSED to be like.
You see, in the conceptual stages, Sphinx was supposed to be a true demi-god, complete with god-like powers such as fireballs, lightning bolts, and the ability to turn into an actual Sphinx and fly around killing stuff and solving puzzles and being awesome. All that plus the Sword of Osiris for plain-old run-of-the-mill killings. Cool, yeah? But apparently that was too much work, and with budget and time constraints, what we end up with is a Zelda knock-off set in ancient Egypt. Even just THAT would be pretty cool (who doesn’t like Zelda?) if they had gone whole-hog and ganked the GOOD parts of Zelda, like the part where the game itself actually works, and the part where there are enough NPCs to fill a town, and the part where you use more than one item to solve more than one kind of puzzle.
In conclusion, I hope this game gets remade with the proper budget and schedule, because the concept was AWESOME and the final product makes me want to bang my face into a wall.
Something I have noticed:
Characters who were intended to be sidekicks but, through some author’s whimsy, become main characters, will always end up sucking.
Examples include Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean) and Drizzt do’Urden.
Can you think of any more? Or do you disagree entirely?
(See also – the “badass decay” article on TVtropes. I won’t link to it because I’m not evil. Also I have to go to class at some time today and cannot afford to lose four hours to the black hole of the internet.)